My Girlfriend Is Addicted to Porn. What Do I Do?

If you searched my girlfriend is addicted to porn, you probably want two answers: is this real, and what should you do?

Women can experience problematic porn use. But frequency alone does not diagnose it, and you cannot diagnose your girlfriend from the outside.

Talk about facts, not a label

Choose a calm time. Do not start the conversation during sex, after discovering a tab or in the middle of a fight.

Use what you observed: “We cancelled plans twice because of this,” or “The secrecy is hurting my trust.” Then ask, “Do you feel in control of it?”

Do not turn the talk into an interrogation about every video. The question is whether the pattern is controlled, honest and compatible with the relationship you both want.

Set a boundary, not a surveillance system

A boundary states what you will do. “I will not share money while secret charges continue” is a boundary. Secretly checking her devices or forcing passwords makes you her police.

Research on couples is mixed, but context matters. Differences between partners’ use and expectations can predict lower satisfaction even when use itself does not tell the whole story.

If she wants help

1. Let her name the goal. Stop, reduce or get assessed.
2. Close one route together. Only with consent.
3. Choose outside support. A clinician familiar with compulsive sexual behaviour can separate lost control from shame or conflict.

You can support recovery. You cannot perform it for her. Our treatment guide explains care options; the relationship guide covers trust repair.

If the situation involves coercion, threats, non-consensual material or sexual content involving minors, treat it as a safety and legal issue, not an ordinary recovery disagreement.

Start with one honest conversation. Judge the next step by her actions, your boundary and both people’s safety.